If you weren't a famous writer, what would you be doing?

I'm thinking I would be a talk show host. Like Oprah, but better. And it would be better because I would have interesting guests, like Skeezix or The Meezers, and we'd have real kick ass demonstrations on selecting the best Nip, how to lick oneself and time it to embarrass your people, and we'd have killer games of [i]Thundering Herd of Elephants[/i]. You know, the stuff kitties want to see. Not like the stuff Oprah shows, like that interview with the Octomom, who I think really wants to be a kitty...