Have you ever been in love? Have you ever wanted a wife and kids?

Nope, never been in love, but I have lots of crushes on my kitty friends. You know, one time someone emailed and asked if I was a little light in the loafers, and I was like, "damn doood, I don't even wear shoes..." but then the Woman explained what the question really was, and after I got over my indignity about wondering why it even mattered, I felt like I needed to explain my world viewpoint.

Since the People went and got me nootered, I realized it didn't matter at all, and before that it only barely mattered if I wanted to put on some Barry White music and be all bow-chick-bow-wow with another kitty. And if I did that I'm pretty sure I would have wanted it to be a girl kitty, but ya never know, but dooods! I don't have the requisite parts, so now it's like YEAH! I can crush on anykitty I want to!

So I have lots of crushes, both boy kitties and girl kitties. They just have to be nicer kitties than I am. Except for Buddah, he's just too giant a pain in the ass even thought the People think he's sweet. Sweet? You should see the tooth marks in my neck!

A wife mighta been good back in the say and I could have supported her, and the whole kids thing probably would have been fun, but I don't think I missed out on anything, other than the whole bow-chicka-bow-wow thing by not having a wife. I mean, I've watched the people and it seems pointless to miss something that takes like 20 seconds.

On the whole, I think I would have rather had a sister than a wife.