If I catch a mouse, do I have to share with the other cats or humans?

You don't have to. But it's good manners to share your kill with your People. If makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you give them gifts like that, so offering half is just polite.

I wouldn't worry about sharing with the other cats. If they want a mouse, they can catch a mouse. But they, too, need to make an offering to the People. Because the people, they have the thumbs that open the cans for us...

The man who passes gas...does he have stomach problems??

Hmmm. He might. But it must be some wicked good gas he produces, because there's a hospital that pays him to pass it. It's so potent that it knocks people put so the stabby guys can cut them open and peek at their guts. I don't question it too much, because his gift of gas affords me some decent Stinky Goodness and crunchy treats pretty much every day.

How much nip can we buy if we sell our woofie housemates?

Sadly, woofies don't have any real marketable value. I mean, come on...they're dogs. You might get a sympathy buyer, but I don't think you'll get enough for any premium nip. Maybe enough for a 3 ounce bag of generic brand. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Why do goggies like to eat cat poop? A friend's dog thinks the cat box is a treasure box of goodness (ewwww)!

Oh man, dood, I dunno, but Hank the Dog? HE USED TO EAT HIS OWN!!! Seriously! He would go out in the back yard and scarf down like it was candy. So so so so gross. One time he did that, and then at like 2 in the morning he puked it back up right next to the peoples' bed! You should have heard the gagging and retching sounds the Woman made. Heh.

He couldn't get to my box, though. It was upstairs and he couldn't get up the stairs, so he never had a chance at my poop.

But yeah, dood. SO gross!

Do you and Buddah share toys, or do you each play with your own toys?

We share a lot, but there are a few things that we tend to respect each others' ownership on. Buddah LOVES the little pink nip pigs, so I leave those alone. And I have no use for his scratching pads. But we'll both play with the nip bananas...I'm ok with him playing with mine as long as he doesn't try to play with it when I already have it. It helps that I don't play a whole lot. And he does.

I want to introduce a new kitteh to my current one, as I think he needs a companion :) How did your people successfully introduce Buddah into your hom

I wouldn't call Buddah and me a success...we still don't really like each other, but most of the time we're not trying to kill each other, so I guess that's good.

But...I think the best way to make it work is to keep the new kitty in a room by himself for a week or so, and let the kitties sniff each other through the closed door. After a few days bring out something the new kitty has used a lot so that the first kitty can sniff it and get used to his scent. You might wanna do this a few times.

Then after a week or so, gradually introduce them...a few minutes here or there until you increase the time that its so long they just either ignore each other or realize they really like each other. You'll know when that is.

Just make sure the new kitty is healthy before you do anything, like the sniffing stuff. Because Buddah was sick and gave me his cooties, and I nearly died. I think that's why I don't like him.

How can I get my human to take me leash walking more?

Well...I'm not sure why you'd want to but, I think the best way is to employ TeH Cute. And people can't resist it if you grab your leash in your mouth and drag it to them. Then meow a lot. Do this enough and you can probably manipulate the awwww into having trained them to take you out on command.

Humans say time is of essence. What is essence?

Well...as near as I can tell, an essence is an odor. Like herbal essence smells like pine trees. So when people say that, I think they mean time stinks. As in, "I have to stay late at work. This stinks."

People whine a lot.

Are you going to be writing another Cat Blogosphere book?

I would like it if we could all do another book... the last time we tried, though, there were only a few submissions, not nearly enough to take it to print.

If enough kitties would participate, we could definitely do another one.

How wide is the sky?...How deep is the ocean?

354 clouds wide...9,846,403 fishies deep.
I measured twice.
Srsly.

What are you reading these days? Listening to? Buddah, what are you reading? Listening to?

Mostly, I read blogs. Lots and lots of really good blogs. Buddah reads comics. Seriously. Just the comics.

What we both listen to...a lot of "No" this and "No" that. I swear, the people are like a couple of broken records.

How do you and Buddah get your 'tocks so shiny? Pookie

It's from the Stinky Goodness, I think. The oils in the gooshy foods helps us keep our furs nice and soft, and makes them shiny. I bathe a lot, too. Buddah, not so much, but he's shiny anyway. So, yeah, it must be from the Stinky Goodness.

We liff with a pazz kitty and all he wants to do is playplayplay. He keeps us all up all day. Short of making our hooman take him back to the shelter,

That's the problem with younger kitties...they're usually in full on crackhead mode and they have so much energy it comes out in a giant display of SPAZZZZ. There's not a lot you can do about it, other than wait until he grows out of the crackhead phase.

Well...you CAN corner him and sit on him every time he annoys you. Little kitties don't seem to enjoy being squashed by the 'Tocks of Doom. It won't stop him from spazzing out, but it'll make you feel better.

Max, I just read you blog today and saw the pic of you and Buddah. Have you put on weight? Or is it just the angle? pyewacket

Dood. Really? Don't know you I'm 14 15 16 17 pounds of pure MUSCLE? It's all black & white glory, baby, and I rock it hard!

why is my hooman putting all my stuff in boxes? I don't want my stuff in boxes.

Oh man, doood, I hope you're not about to get creamed with the M-word. I hate the M-word. But...that might be it. You might be moving :::shudder::: to new digs.

On the other hand, sometimes the Woman puts our toys in a box and hides them for a while, so that later they'll feel like new again. Maybe that's it. I hope so, for your sake.

Max, How do I let my being know why I keep pooping in the bathtub? I try and tell her, but she don't listen...Love Trixie

I dunno...people are hard to train, and getting them to understand us is near impossible. If you're doing it because you're sick, howl when you're in the tub, maybe she'll make the connection, but I wouldn't count on it. If you're doing it because your litter box is too dirty, try pooping on the floor just outside it. But if you poop in the tub because you want to annoy her...just keep doing it.

Where's Waldo??

Why? What did you hear? I swear, the last time I saw him he was with those other two kitties and he was SOBER, man, SOBER. I did NOT slip him anything funny in his drink and then roll him down the hill onto the freeway when he passed out, if someone said that they were surely mistaken and...

Oh.

He's in Albuquerque.

I swear.

Sometimes I get bottled water...am I special, or is my human just too lazy to get me live, fresh faucet water?

Doood! Bottled water is like 9000 times more spendy than faucet water, so obviously it's because you're special! All I get is filtered water. If the people realized how awesome I really am, I'd get bottled, too. Man. Now I want bottled water.

I like a lady cat who seems to like me, and I've even gotten permission from the human to call on her, but now I hear nothing from her. Is she playing

Hmmm...I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she's just busy, like in the middle of a long string of naps, or curled up in a sunspot she doesn't want to give up. It surely can't be because she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, because you're, like, 7 different kinds of awesome. Right?

How many strangers, moving stuff around and bothering stuff, should I tolerate before I bite someone?

Just one, and that's being generous. No one should move your stuff unless you want them to, so if anyone does and it annoys you, at the very least pooping on them in fair game. If they don't take the hint, let the biting commence, 'cause doood, they obviously asked for it...

Is it wrong to want a play date with a neighbor woofie?

:::facepalm:::

Why do I have to get a b-a-t-h, when it's another cat that's actually dirty?

Dood, seriously? Your people stick you in a BATH??? Oh my... You need to start pooping on their things, and poop RIGHT NOW. Because clearly, something is wrong, and they need to be punished for thinking ANY kitty needs a bath! That's why we have such awesome tongues! I mean... :::shudder:: the horror. I am very very sorry you have to go through that. I need to go lie down now. Just thinking about it...

Why does my cat prefer faucet water, even though it has fresh, live, brand new BOWL of water??

Because bowl water just sits there. It doesn't DO anything. At least with faucet water, we're CATCHING something. Just do your job and amuse the kitty by turning the faucet on, and stand there and wait until he's done. It's not like you have anything better to do.

Who is crazier, the man or the woman?

Most days, it's hard to tell. But just look at which one of them just walked 60 miles and slept outside in the cold. That should tell you something.