Dear Max, how come my kitty Sabi won't let me hug him? Actually, he won't let ANYONE hug him. Kiera

Well, I know it's bothersome to a person, but some kitties don't like to be hugged, not ever. I don't really like it and will only put up with it if I think it will lead to a treat. Buddah only lets people hold him when it's his idea, and then only for a minute or two. So try to not take it personally...trust me, it's him, not you.

When you're older and not so sticky, he'll be older and maybe will let you hug him once in a while, as long as you don't squeeze. You don't want to squeeze. A kitty might accidentally poop on you if you squeeze at the wrong time, and when that happens, everyone winds up unhappy...

Our beans keep warshing our "Gizzy" quilts every couple of months - they warsh our smell of and make them smell like lavender and vanilla. WHAT GIVES?!

Bah...people are just insensitive sometimes. They don't stop to think about how long it takes us to get our Gizzies smelling JUST right. I mean, if they spent weeks painting a masterpiece, they' be pretty ticked off is someone came by and sprayed with with a water bottler, right?

Same thing.

I think they use lavender and vanilla because they think it will calm out furry littler asterisks down. Truth is, we're not calmer. We're freaking DEPRESSED because our Gizzy quilts don't smell right anymore!

I wish they would stop and think about it, but I'm pretty sure they won't. And that sucks.

Where have all the flowers gone?

Young girls picked them, every one... Damn kids.

My human has trouble with distractions. How do I keep her focused and on task?

Hmmm...Sit on her head. I have it on good authority that doing that brings a person's attention back on focus. just be prepared for a lot of head sitting, because most people need refocusing 30-40 times a day.

I think my human has lost her mind. What should I do?

Check the lost and found section on Craigslist, maybe someone else has it and is trying to get it back to her. Failing that, keep an eye on eBay. You might be able to get her a new one for cheap.

Why do humans insist on trying to brush us, bathe us, clean our teeth, clip our nails...?

There are two reasons.

1) People are wont to anthropomorphizing animals; they seem to think that because they want those things for themselves, that we want those things. They fail to comprehend that we are first and foremost animals, and that in the wild no one would do that to us. Granted, being domesticated, sometime sit helps to have someone get a matted chunk of fur out for us, but still...

2) They're insane.

What do you LIKE best about Buddah?

He's pretty good at getting the Woman to give us extra crunchy treats before she goes to bed. That's about the only thing he's useful for.