do you like kitty crack...er cat nip?

Does Dolly Parton have ginormous boobs? Does the Pope wear a funny hat? Does a bear scarf Cheetos when an idiot camper leaves them out?

Every time mom we hear of furry friends going to The Bridge, not only does leak lots of water but then she keeps squishing me. How can I keep her from

You can't doood. And maybe you shouldn't. I mean, it's kind of unpleasant, but every time one of our friends goes to the bridge it scares our people because they know that chances are we'll be going there, too, long before they'll be ready for that to happen. So they feel like they have to hold on, and they get all leaky because it scares them, and they feel bad for our friends' peoples.

I think intellectually they know we're having a pretty freaking good time at the Bridge, but if we're not HERE, they can't see us and touch us...sometimes we just have to let them squeeze us, and purr hard for them.

And then, when they've held and squeeze enough, we can pee on something they like. That's only fair.

Do you Jeremiah, that was a bullfrog? (He's was a good friend of mine.)

I knew him, but I never understood a single word he said. He had some wicked good wine, though. I helped him drink it. Word.

How deep is the ocean, how wide is the sea?

Deep enough to store enough real live fresh dead fish to last a Max lifetime, and wide enough for a bunch of real live fresh dead shrimp to do whatever real live fresh dead shrimp do before I eat them.

Max, have you read "Catalyst" by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarbourgh? If you did, what did you think of Chessie and Chester? Dee.

I haven't, but I bet the Man has. He likes Ms. McCaffery's books. At least there are a BUNCH of them on the bookshelf...

what should i do about my crazy boyfriend?

NOOTER HIM!

Have you actually had a fight with Butters, or do you just not like the sound of him?

I do not care to get close enough to that damned dog Butters to have a fight with him. I just make a beeline for my mancat cave when he's here, and pretend he's not here. I'm not sure he WOULD fight with me...he might just eat me and be done with it.