Max, What does it mean when a kitty is lounging in Mom's lap, when they suddenly sit up, prick up their ears, and stare, where there is nothing that Mom can see? Should I worry?

Nothing to worry about. It's just the kitty hearing the whistling that occurs at very high tones as hot air goes in one of the person's ears and out the other.

Do you not like other kittehs, or is it just Buddah?

Well, I've never had to spend any time with other kitties, so I don't really know. The evil outside introoder kitties get me really excited, but I can't say I like or dislike them, just that they're where they're not supposed to be, so I feel compelled to try to scare them away.

The People seem to think that if I hadn't gotten so sick when Buddah came to live with us that I'd like him more, but I dunno...he would have been a pain in my asterisk no matter what. Another kitty, a less hyper one, might have been easier to learn to get along with, but we'll never know now.

Are you a cuddly kitteh? Do you like being picked up?

I do like to be picked up and cuddled when it's my idea. If it's a people idea, I'm totally against it. And really, I am a total lap cat IF it's the Woman's lap, especially if she's got her laptop computer on it and is trying to work. That's when I love being on a lap, when it's so obviously not the Woman's idea...that's when I know she NEEDS me on it, and I'm nothing if not considerate. All I ask in return is some head skritches while I push the computer to the floor...

Max, how exhausting is it being so cool?

Doood, I'm glad you asked that, because truly, it is so exhausting. I mean, I have to sleep at least 18 hours a day because of it. And you know what? No one here seems to respect that. I keep hearing comments like, "Have you even moved today, Max?" and "Don't strain anything rolling over," but really, being this cool is just tiring. At least I have a really spiffy mancat cave now...that makes for a perfect rejuvenation chamber; a few hours there and I've re-charged my cool factor by 80% at least. The otehr 20% I get from stinky goodness, real live fresh dead shrimp, and taking chunks of fur out of Buddah.

Why do humans insit on ruining real live fresh dead shrimp, cow, fish, and chicken by putting gravy and stuff on it? Don't they know that just ruins it?

They're pretty good at ruining everything... I really don't think they have much of a sense of taste as it is, so I guess they have to ruin things to taste them. I mean, have you see some of the stuff they eat voluntarily? Doood, my people eat oatmeal. That stuff has been pre-chewed and half digested already! Anyone who would eat that has got to have a screw loose...

If I give in and actually sniff my kitty's bum, will he quit presenting it to me?

Probably not, but chances are he'll get online and blog about how he got you to sniff it...

What's the best way to wake up lazy hoomans so they can serve breakfast already?

There are several tried and true ways to wake a lazy human up so that they can fulfill their felinely obligations. A paw smacked just so across their nose works well, but I find that if you curl your paw into a tiny fist and punch them in the eye, that works better.

Another good way to get them up is to creep gently on top of them, and then body slam into their face, neck, or chest. The bigger you are, the more impact this method has, and I find that I get a better reaction when I've dropped 17 pounds of black and white glory right into a face.

But the best way? Stick your nose or your tongue up on of their nostrils. That gets them up really fast, although your breakfast will likely be served with several choice words.